November 2019

Dear Overwhelmed and Stressed,

This is a common issue for many of us.  We jump onto the hamster wheel and we just go- doing things as we've always done them, without mindful thinking.  It's not as if we can't figure out how to make things better on our own, but somehow we just don't make the changes.  I believe that it's not that we can't, it's that we don't take time out of our busyness to be intentional and thoughtful and so....we just forget to do better.  So here's 5 tips- five reminders to help bring you to a more peaceful holiday season.  Edit and mold them to fit for you and then print it out and share your intentions with your family members so there's more hope these shifts will stick.

5 Tips to Make this Your Most Peaceful Holiday Season Yet

1. Make your relationships your priority.

There always seems to be a lot to do this time of year. Decide this year that relationships will be more important than unnecessary obligations. If you typically spend a holiday in a place where there's tension and drama, do something different. Create a new tradition. If you don't want to go to your co-worker's Christmas party, don't go. Snuggle up with your family and watch It's a Wonderful Life instead. If you have limited money yet still buy presents for people on your list that you buy for just because "it's the way we've always done it", reconsider. Have a thoughtful conversation (there's  a good chance they feel the same way!) and let go of feeling trapped into traditions that don't serve your family.  Spend those resources on an outing with the kids or go to the theater with your best friend. Life is short. Spend it nurturing your most treasured relationships.

2. Focus on Intention.

Your experiences will be determined by where you place your focus. If you focus on the dread of seeing or "dealing with" a particular relative(s) or situation, your experience will match your dread . This year, let your focus be on who you intend to be regardless of the choices and circumstances happening around you. Let your intentions lead you towards inner strength, wisdom and compassion and note how your experiences change as a result. Consider letting your focus be on how you want to show up rather than wishing others were different.  If you program dread into your inner navigation system, the result will likely be disappointing (again).  Program authentic compassion, forgiveness, with strong healthy boundaries and a willingness to be that which you expect from others, and the result will likely surprise you.

3. Challenge Yourself.

Challenge yourself to look at the difficult situations and relationships in your life with a new set of eyes. If you could feel totally at peace in the presence of this relationship or situation, what quality would it mean you have developed within yourself? How would that quality benefit you in the rest of your life? What if you chose to see this situation as a way to practice a more empowering belief or behavior? How would this perspective change your life experience?

4. Release.

Set a goal to notice and release some beliefs and patterns that no longer serve you. For example, I am always on the lookout for when I am needing to be right. This is a long standing behavior of mine and brings me out of alignment with who I intend to be because it's wasted energy needlessly trying to make someone else wrong. The judgmental behavior is ugly and useless.  When I catch myself engaged in this pattern, I pull myself back. Sometimes I catch myself after the fact and I make a note to hold myself to a higher standard next time. It's ongoing work but it's worth it.  Releasing old patterns and beliefs opens us up to create new and more peaceful experiences.

5. Breathe.

When all else fails and you're having a moment, breathe. Three deep, meaningful, cleansing belly breaths. Often. Before speaking. Before reacting. Breathe deeply for better health, less anxiety, less stress and more clarity. Notice how you feel in these moments and how your choices are more empowered afterwards.

I have come to learn that if I want a more peaceful existence, peace will always begin with me. If we want to experience something different, we must think different. A peaceful and beautiful holiday season is our choice.



We really are that powerful.