How To Buy a Cream Puff

Not long ago, our family needed to purchase a car that our youngest daughter could drive. Like most couples, my husband and I had different approaches. He likes to research every possible detail, search the internet and shop around to make sure he gets the perfect deal. He is even willing to test drive as many cars as possible and spend hours with used car dealers if that's what it takes to find the best fit. Most would think that this is a sensible plan and they would not be wrong. After all, we expect that car shopping is tedious and that we'd better be on our guard so that we don't get taken for a ride. Literally.

As with many areas of our lives and relationships, our expectations lead how we approach any given challenge. But what if we raise our expectations? What if we look beyond logic and reality and expect that what we want actually does exist, even if we haven't found it quite yet. Time and time again, I have found this to be true. The most recent example is when my daughter and I set an intention that the perfect car was just waiting for us. We expected a solid, heavy car, preferably an older model so as to be more affordable. We thought 2010 or newer made sense. We held the desire that it would be owned by a sweet retired person/couple we would wholeheartedly trust who put very little miles on the car. We expected that they always garaged it and took impeccable care of it and had a service record as proof. And of course, it had to be at the right price.

My husband continued searching frantically every available car in Massachusetts, test driving some more than once and printing out stacks of additional possibilities we could wallpaper a whole room with. Regardless, they all just felt, well......"wrong". On the other hand, I went about my day, patiently waiting and fully expecting that the right car would make it's way into our radar and as soon as I saw it, I would know it instantly. No need to stress or exhaust myself searching. On this one particular day, I was compelled to do an internet search and I noticed a car that I just knew was the one. Coincidentally, my daughter also saw the same car during her own internet search that day. I immediately messaged the owner to request to meet the following day. We arrive at the house to find the sweetest retired grandfather standing in front of a garage, and an exceptionally cared-for 2011 crossover SUV with a measly 38,000 miles exactly in the ballpark of our price point. He had a stack of service records that recorded every impeccably timed oil change and tire rotation. As both he and his lovely wife showed authentic concern and interest in our daughter and her new driver status, we knew these were exactly the people we wanted to do business with. As my husband said, we weren't just buying a car, we were buying a story. Our mechanic described it as a "cream puff. It couldn't be better." Just as we expected.  

More than we realize, we tend to get what we expect, both in positive and negative ways. Often we are not even conscious of these expectations. Part of the work of a coach is to listen carefully to what a client is saying and to hear the belief systems beneath the words. As human beings, we are experts at creating stories, also known as our own version of the truth. We make assumptions about what "probably" is or will happen based on habitual thinking patterns and we believe we have proof in the form of past experiences that back up our assumptions. Often times these stories serve as obstacles, as our reliance on logic and reality cloud our ability to live with wonder and an open mind.

Take a look at your expectations. Really listen and observe your thoughts and actions. What might happen if you shifted some of your expectations?
You really are that powerful.